Thursday, May 19, 2011

Nausea stinks.

Thankfully the worst that ever happens is I start feeling really nauseous and then after a fair warning, I cough/gag and it's official, my body is screaming to be fed. I rush to food and everything is usually back to normal. I guess I like that every pregnancy is different. Every thing I've read agrees that all pregnancies are different. Like fingerprints. And I read somewhere yesterday, about a person noting that at the beginning of her pregnancy, how glad she was that she wasn't going to have her child surprise her and arrive tomorrow. What a gift 9 months of preparation and settling is. ... I don't necessarily agree but I want to try to. I don't want to rush it and I am learning to appreciate the design behind all of this 'baby making' but at this moment, I feel impatient. And tired of the inconveniences of being pregnant. Its far from instant-gratification. You feel crummy or tired or both and the only thing that makes it pass quickly is a friend that will sit and listen to you gripe, and encourage you to exercise, and cook for you. That friend of mine is in France. Aaron absolutely helps take care of me but maybe because he just stays so busy, I am better at asking Kaki for help. And of course she offers things that Aaron can't offer.

After reading a lot of "What to Expect When Your Expecting" (Thanks Kaki!) I was talking to a friend, a new mother of a second little boy, and telling her ways I wished Aaron would read the small section for "Expecting Dad's". She quickly said that I shouldn't read any of those sections because the advice one person gives about what to expect or needs from Dad is different for everyone. As soon as she said that, I think I immediately appreciated the ways Aaron was on his own picking up the slack and serving me in all the ways he was already doing it. Wow. I love the way her words snuck up and sparked a new love for my husband.

Speaking of! Of course we've been missing each other through the last week as he's been away. But yesterday I spent a long time online, talking to Kaki, then talking to Aaron on the phone, then later he messaged me on gmail chat and we made silly jokes and comments about nothing. While we were talking we were having so much fun we realized that this time apart was pushing us together in a really cool way. If you're in covenant with somebody then you probably know those sometimes small or huge moments where you sit back and think "so this is us becoming one flesh", you feel a rush of chemicals flood you as you fall deeper and deeper inlove with your Maker and your husband. Similar feelings happen with friends when it occurs to you how much you enjoy them or love them. Or when you're holding a baby that you are slightly disgusted with how much you don't want to ever put it down. And then of course when you're anywhere and you catch a glimpse of Christ's grace or mercy and you fall on your face with desire for Him. I love it! If only every moment of the day could be so focused and meaningful.

Here's a cheesy snapshot of my snapshot of the "little peanut' in action. From that first appointment over a week ago. Im 11 weeks yesterday. I thought I was 12 all week so Im feeling behind on progress. I don't want to start taking pictures of my belly as it changes because there's not a lot to see yet and I really just feel chubby, so maybe once people start exclaiming how cute and pregnant I am, I'll post some. For now, my lower abdomin feels TIGHT and happy. And Im less "hour-glassed" shaped than normal, and feeling like a tube with my belly filling out. Haha, its kind of gross. And I'm getting over it. Right now I just want to get pregnant-looking enough for Aaron to not feel silly talking to my stomach. He finally stopped addressing our child by saying "hey baby zygote" and is coming up with new, more appropriate names for him/her. After all! Baby B is officially a fetus and has developed ankles, knees and elbows, baby teeth buds, protective body hair, nailbeds, individual fingers and toes, nipples, and most of his/her systems are fully formed. Week 13, baby B should be about the size of a peach.

Cambell's canned "chicken with rice" soup. Is two of those an unnacceptable meal? Ugh, I wish I hadn't looked at the ingredients. That's the only canned soup I buy anymore that isn't organic and that I don't add my own ingredients too. Pregnant me is such a settler for less than acceptable food choices.

I had a Dr. appointment today. Baby B I heard your heart pitter-patterin'! If Aaron hadn't been in class the Dr. would have let me call Aaron to let him hear the heart. So neat. .... the more excited I get about birthing, the less I care who Im birthing with. Everybody promises to take the best care of you. I do like being the least hippy person in the room too when I have visits. Haha, I feel cute, unique, and less anal than everyone else.

I'd like a friend to make me chicken pot pie. I ate some last week at Aaron's sisters house and it was glorious. So since then I've looked up recipes everywhere and just stared at them. Im not sure I can bring myself to do it. I get anxious thinking about cooking these days. And dread the way-too-long season of smelling food before I can eat it. I always lose my appetite. This is something I look forward to after birth, enjoying cooking again.

1 comment:

  1. ugh. write something else. haha. i'll make you some chicken pot pie when i get back.

    i'm having a hard time not being able to speak the language that i'm around. it's making me realize how much i do talk just to talk sometimes.

    i saw artichokes growing in a garden recently.


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