Thursday, September 22, 2011

Good News!

I'm in love.
With a season of life.
With a season of the year.
With a husband that I'm earthly and spiritually bound to.
With a tea that's warm and spicy.
With a baby human that I've never met.
With a clean and serene downstairs of my home.
With the ability to breath life in and see old colorful mountains around me.

I'm also sleeping(ish). Bathroom breaks will gladly be replaced by baby-wakes once he's here. It does make all the difference to have a good pillow between my knees. But as I like to move while sleeping, each time I move means waking up enough to lift the sheets, roll my body with pillow to the other side, then drape sheets accordingly and fall back into sleep. I look forward to easy mobility more and more.

Last weekend we had 3 sets of visitors. It was so nice sharing our space and catching up and just being with people we love. It was short.

This week I realized how big I am! I must post a picture. I have had no clue. Looking down at my belly and not being able to see my upper legs, or even dressing and struggling to reach my toes to put tights on, or feeling the need to exclaim every time I squat to pick something up or bend over hadn't alerted me to the reality of my huge belly. It was Sunday afternoon and the pregnant women were out on the town in Asheville so every one that walked by was compared to my current size. A little shocked, I went home and studied myself in the mirror, now very aware of the fact that I am not as little as I thought I was. When did this happen? I've been noticing it grow but my thoughts were "there's no way I'm as big as she is... she's huge!"

Man oh man. Changes that happen faster than I can notice them are so strange.

I read a girl's thoughts on being a soccer mom today. She was really proud and a little shocked to find herself driving a mini-van, watching little boys in over-sized shirts run around often without a soccer ball and having so much fun. I hope that's me down the road.

I'm meeting some girls in the morning to start a discipleship group. I can't wait. I have been longing for more constant meeting and prayer with women and I have so many hopes of growth and challenge tied to these meetings.

Aaron and I are going to visit my mom's sister in Myrtle Beach, SC. I'm so excited. We're leaving tomorrow afternoon. Time with her is refreshing. She encourages us and shares herself in a really refreshing way. Too, its really nice feeling at home somewhere so familiar, with nothing expected of us. I love Aaron getting to know my family. I love how similar and different my aunt and mom are. I always feel like I know my mom better after I hang out with my aunt. I'm excited about Lutheran church. I'm excited about a possibly warm ocean and whatever weather that comes. I'm excited about riding the golf cart through the neighborhood to the beach. I'm excited about digging a hole for my belly and laying on the sand. AND I'm excited cause we're staying till Tuesday then coming home to small group and a southern food potluck.

BABY SHOWER. Happening Sunday November 6th. It'll be sweet and I've been banned from helping plan it which oddly is making me excited. I wish everyone that I know could come just because I want it to be like a big reunion of people I love more than anything. I'm not really thinking of it as a shower cause I want it to be more like a party. Though it'll be midday and maybe a little short. I'm registering for silly things and everything!

That's it for now. Hopefully I'll have lots of reflections and quiet time this weekend with Aaron.

Friday, September 16, 2011


It's closer to 6:30am and I've been up since somewhere around 3:40am. I laid in bed with few entertaining thoughts until about 4:30 and decided to get up and partially clean my kitchen, dining room, and bathroom, eat a bowl of applesauce and made myself some tea that's almost gone. I would like to be sleeping. While laying in bed I basically wrote letters to friend's in my head, things I'd like to tell them but once I got up, I figured if I was going to do that this morning, I needed to get my current circumstances out of my head instead of writing to friend's about it.

Week to week changes I noticed yesterday: sleeping isn't as effortless as it has been. Atleast for the past couple nights. It could just be a thing that'll pass but since I've read it's a symptom of my state of pregnancy, I'm assuming that's what it is. Things really do change that quickly and noticibly pregnant anyway. Also, like clockwork, when I entered the second trimester, within days I was feeling remarkably rested and energetic. So it's funny, but yesterday was the first day of 28 weeks. 7 months ya'll! Third trimester.  When I think about how fast the first trimester went by, I feel pretty bittersweet. Based on the weeks they dated me I didn't even know I was pregnant for 9 weeks. Not much else about this process has seemed to pass quickly. Sure it'll seem like a blink of an eye once it's over but I think it was designed to allow a woman to feel like she's got time to soak in it. I sure have.

We finished our birthing classes last night. There's lots of other classes I could take but that one is the one I looked forward to most, Aaron was encouraged to be with me, and we learned so much. They covered so much. From reading silly encouraging poems and writings, getting massages, watching birthing videos, to practicing birthing positions, getting tea infusion recipes, and walking step by step through growing our babies, going into labor, having contractions, dealing with unexpected circumstances, pushing our babies out, delivering the placenta, and talking, touching, and massaging our newborns. We even had cupcakes with candles and sang happy birthday to our unborn babies. It was a funny, informative, intentional class.

We took our hospital tour this past week with our birthing class instructor. That was great. Part of me was really excited about the point that I get there, and part of me started to feel really nervous about birthing. I know it's going to fly by but a lot can happen in a few hours. I think I'm a little overwhelmed.

Baby Bue has been practicing having his head down! This means his feet are lodged under my ribs. If this means he'll be ready and come out quickly, then I'll take it. I'm feeling huge. I'm a little terrified of what a couple more months or having this bun in my oven will do to me. Some days my size is overwhelming to me.

Have I mentioned how much I love my husband? The best human I know. I am excited to labor with him beside me.

Also, we're starting small groups again Tuesday. Some new people are coming, and some old.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011


I wish I had pictures. I know I couldn't have done the trip justice though so maybe it's for the best. In some ways this has been my favorite trip to Pittsburgh that we've taken.

Every trip to Pittsburgh is bittersweet. We look forward so much to a community of people that we feel very much a part of in ways but rarely get to see. An 8 hour drive between us really forces us to make fewer trips than we'd like and we can't ever stay as long as we'd like to. Pittsburgh in some ways feels like home. I found myself the last couple trips wishing we had our own place here to invite people in and cook and share meals. I think Aaron and I both really like hosting people more than we feel comfortable being extended-stay-visitors. At the start of the trip I always hope that Aaron and I will love the friends we're with successfully. I worry that in a place that he has many experiences with out me, that I won't remember that we're together, on the same team and that he'll feel supported and know that I'm proud of him. It's hard for me to keep my things from spreading out over someone else's home while I'm visiting. It gets harder put our bed away every day when, at home, it's a place that I love to escape to for moments on occasional days.  ........ All of that being said, we are made to feel so welcome. We have people's homes and safe havens opened to us. We've been cooked for and provided for every time we've come. We've been prayed for and prayed with. We've been not only let in, but welcomed into our friend's lives, told their excitements and struggles, seen their projects and hopes. I love the way each trip to Pittsburgh reveals new depths to the people that I so easily and immediately grew to love when I met them. I love that each time I go home I know more specific ways to pray for these people.

Heaslips were in town and it was so good seeing them and their Sailor. I really felt at home with them. And Aaron couldn't get enough time with their sweet little girl.

Sunday we were thrown a surprise baby shower! I'm not sure it could have been much nicer. Good food was prepared, (tacos, my favorite), sweet onesies were decorated by our friends, baby goods were given to us. It meant so much to us that this time was set aside to celebrate the coming of our sweet babe. I loved sharing all of it with our Pittsburgh friends. It's hard to be content with having seen them so little this past year. Missing out on so much that happens in their lives. We want to live life with them, eat with them, struggle with them, rejoice with them... it's a lot like a long distance dating relationship. We see each other in such small dosages that it's hard to say goodbye.

Every time we leave Pittsburgh, the trip home is such a time of preparing to enter back into our world. We reflect on the week, we hope that the things we're learning will help us love our friends in PA and NC better. I try to tell myself to stop asking for more and appreciate the time we were given. We do dread returning to our schedules that can seem monotonous but I think, we always come back challenged and with a new wind in our sails. This trip, in some ways felt the least like we were visitors. In a way we felt more like roommates, and locals. There was a lot more down time than usual, quiet conversations. Less planning and roaming. It was settling and strange. It was really good. I guess the next time we visit we'll have our third family member with us and it'll be a whole different kind of new and familiar.